Another episode. I’d been doing so well, and now this. I ripped open the wound on my first finger. It sore and stinging. There was already a scabby scar over it, and now it’s there’s a gaping whole. It’s so representative of how I’m feeling now. Raw, in pain, vulnerable, empty. I don’t know what happened. I had a good day, a pretty moderate dinner. Why did I think for even a split second that it was OK?

I want to talk to someone but I don’t want to disturb anyone. J is out with his family for a three day stay in a hotel. I don’t want to ruin that. The other girls are busy. The only other people I can talk to, N and A. Well N still hates me and A is asleep.

What to do.