February 2012
1 post
June 2011
2 posts
1 tag
Gratitude #5, and New Beginnings.
I haven’t been around much lately. I stopped going to this tumblr because it was centered on bulimia, and it’s bad enough that I think about it too much. I thought it would help and it did, because I had an outlet where I could pour my heart out - all my victories, triumphs, aches and pains. Except things started taking a turn for the worse and I couldn’t write about it anymore....
bodymindheartsoul asked: hey, reaching125 here! :D
I'm grateful that you have this blog because it shares so much experiences I can relate to. I know I'm not alone. Never stop blogging. :)
I've started my own blog to recover from my bad body image. And it really helps a lot when you can just pour your feelings out to the world. And I followed what you've been doing of...
I'm grateful that you have this blog because it shares so much experiences I can relate to. I know I'm not alone. Never stop blogging. :)
I've started my own blog to recover from my bad body image. And it really helps a lot when you can just pour your feelings out to the world. And I followed what you've been doing of...
April 2011
5 posts
1 tag
What are you grateful for?
The other day my parents and I revisited Cafe Gratitude. Every day they have a “Question of the Day”. On the day we visited, the question was, “What is most extraordinary about you?” My father said, “Well I smile a lot!” and indeed, a winning smile was plastered to his face. A few days after, I contemplated the question and came with an answer: “What is...
Gratitude #4
I’m grateful for the morning sun, because it’s radiance and warmth reminds me that I am alive and human.
Just a thought.
I don’t need to be told to ‘be strong’. I don’t need inspirational quotes or influential speeches. Sometimes I just need to be told that everything will be OK. That, in itself, is enough.
4 tags
Last night one of my best girlfriend’s told me that she had an ED. She didn’t say it outright. We were discussing tattoos and she asked me what mine meant. I said it was a recovery symbol for an ED, and she said, “Ohhh, really? I have too.” It didn’t really come as a shock to me. I wrote about her once in a post, but we weren’t that close at the time. She was...
Gratitude #3
I’m grateful for the Internet, because even if I am thousands of miles away my love and I still find some way to be together.
March 2011
16 posts
1 tag
Gratitude #2
I’m in San Francisco right now for vacation. Mum and I came over from the Philippines. My brother is following sometime in May. We all came over to spend time with my sister, who’s leaving to join the Marines. I can’t remember the last time we were all here under this roof we call home. It must have been what, 11 years ago? And now 11 years after moving to the Philippines,...
3 tags
5 tags
I Love My Body Pledge
I finished re-reading a book the other day called “Feed Me!: Writers Dish About Food, Eating, Weight and Body Image.” I picked this book up years ago and decided to read it again. Sometimes you just need to be reminded of why you’re doing what you’re doing. What I love about the stories in the book, which are all written honestly from the heart, is that they are completely...
3 tags
Stop Hating Your Body
If you’ve ever been subjected to bullying, abuse, self-harm or an eating disorder, you’ll know how it takes a lot of courage and bravery to look at yourself in the mirror and tell yourself, “I love you,” and mean it. It takes a lot of kindness, gentleness and forgiveness to love the way you look or the way you are. All the meanness and cruelty people show us, and that we...
dannixjones asked: Hi. :) reaching125 here. I hope you still remember me. :) I'm still so inspired by your writing. Thank you for the support you've shown me. I will never forget how lovely you are. Keep smiling. :) We should do some catching up sometime. :P xx
1 tag
Gratitude #1
My Dad and I once ate in Cafe Gratitude in San Francisco. Before they served our food, the server asked, “What are you grateful for?” My Dad, which a smile on his face and much conviction in his heart, said, “I’m grateful to be alive!!!” I thought it was a rather mediocre, generic and uninspired answer but now that I think of it, it’s perfectly legitimate.
I...
“Fall down seven times, stand up eight.”
– Japanese Proverb
“If you have made mistakes, even serious ones, there is always another chance for...”
– Mary Pickford
1 tag
Gratitude
I think people take Life for granted because they’re not grateful for anything. I was one of those people. I took everything, everyone and even myself for granted. My mother’s NY resolution was simple: live well, love well and have a grateful heart.
Every day I will try to be thankful for something. It doesn’t have to be grand. It doesn’t have to make sense. It just has to...
3 tags
Who You Are - That's OK.
I have a current favorite song which I listen to everyday. It’s called, “Who You Are” by Jessie J. Moral of the story? It’s OK to be who you are.
I’m not the skinniest person on earth, but I’m not fat either. I weigh 130lbs. which by most people’s standards is too much, even if I have 23-inch waist line. My arms are somewhere between toned and flabby...
2 tags
5 tags
Stick and stones may break my bones, but words can...
As a writer, I know how emotionally charged words can be. What was once simply a means to communicate has become a weapon of choice for many people. Words have the power to mar souls and bruise egos, turn relationships sour and alienate people. Take the words “nigger”, “intsik”, or “indio,” for example.
I have a Chinese friend who hates it when people refer to...
“Perhaps we don’t like what we see: our hips, our loss of hair, our shoe size,...”
– Sufjan Stevens (via clavicola)
January 2011
13 posts
Episode
3 tags
2 tags
Contrary to popular belief, humans are kind by...
Chefs and aspiring chefs all around the world are constantly trying to refine their ability to season perfectly. Even the smallest inkling of an iota of salt makes the difference between tasty and bland. During my quiet smoking and writing sessions, I thought of something.
“Human violence, anger and meanness is like our ability to discern saltiness - we’re not born with it. The good...
3 tags
3 tags
Pro-Recovery: You are not your body. →
pro-recovery:
The hardest yet most important thing about recovery is separating you from your body. The irony is that you were trying to do that all along- take away the fat, feel pure, numb yourself. Whatever it is that you may be doing, your ED tries to get you as far away from you and your body as possible.
I realized something right now.
It’s in relation to the previous post. It’s about the resilience of the human spirit. I realized that no matter how many times a person is shoved, kicked and beaten to the ground by others or by themselves, they still manage to stand up, brush themselves off and proceed through all of life’s shamble and drugderies with a smile on their face and a song in their heart.
Bravo to...
Just a reminder...
prettierinthedark:
No, my collarbones don’t jut out from under my skin,
and my thighs don’t have a gap,
and I can’t fit my hand around my upper arm.
I have a stomach that moves when I walk,
and arm fat,
and chubby cheeks.
There are days where I will hate myself because of this,
where I feel that I should starve and purge and cut until I am perfect.
But you know what?
That...
1 tag
1 tag
5 tags
Verity, and Vindaloo.
It’s been quite a while since I’ve tumbl’d. I know I used to post a lot but lately I’ve found my little black notebook is far more reliable to reach for when inspiration hits. What’s been happening? Well I have boyfriend now, whom I love dearly. :) I also started doing yoga again. Also, I’m leaving by the end of February to go to India to stay at an ashram....
December 2010
1 post
October 2010
22 posts
Episode
Another episode. I’d been doing so well, and now this. I ripped open the wound on my first finger. It sore and stinging. There was already a scabby scar over it, and now it’s there’s a gaping whole. It’s so representative of how I’m feeling now. Raw, in pain, vulnerable, empty. I don’t know what happened. I had a good day, a pretty moderate dinner. Why did I...
When I look at the stars, I feel like myself.
1 tag
And if you REALLY must know the nitty gritty.
I was swept away by the money, power, glamour and super VIP status of partying. I think everyone at one point in their life wants to experience high society, and there I was right in the thick of it. It’s not that I come from the lower rungs of society. Definitely not. It’s just that a few 20 something year olds (namely, us) who haven’t accomplished anything at all except good...
I'm grounding myself, in every sense of the word.
So this is just a snippet of what I’ve been up to since I’ve been gone from Tumblr. I sent a message to my currently former best friend (she’s disowned me, what can I say?) as a way to make amends and hopefully soothe the heartache I caused her.
Dearest N,
This weekend is the first weekend I’ve spent at home or with my family. It’s quite a change from chaos of last...
Good morning, Life.
Good morning. This morning I woke up around 6AM. It’s the first morning I’ve spent home for the last three days. Otherwise I’ve been out and about with friends.
Now that I'm more sensible and logical
Why should weight determine how good we feel about ourselves or the world?
Why can’t women embrace their natural bodies?
Why is everyone under the impression that skinny equates to beauty?
What’s wrong with curves?
Why do people have a ridiculous preconceived notion about dieting? When a diet is really just the food we eat daily, and not at all the number of calories we can hack...
5 tags
“Yoga, an ancient but perfect science, deals with the evolution of humanity. This...”
– B.K.S. Iyengar, Astadala Yogamala (via swasthya)
4 tags
4 tags
Episode
Another episode today. I feel so exhausted. My face is swollen, my heart is pounding and my hands are shaking - the usual symptoms of a post-binge purge session. I was so tired the whole day because I went out last night. I only had several hours of sleep. Maybe 3 or 4. I can’t go without an average of 7.5 hours. I took a nap around 3 and woke up at 4. I had this urge to eat and I stormed...
3 tags
“The body is your temple. Keep it pure and clean for the soul to reside in.”
– B.K.S. IYENGAR, INDIA (via yoginijules)